SELF-DECLARED SEXUAL SUPERHEROES: Halcyon & tASSy. The site they operate together, PINKGASM.com, is a breathtaking glimpse of the future of Sex, Community, Culture and the Individual -- all in healthy balance. To call them pioneers is not enough -- they have done much more than simply "go first". They have confirmed in hope the Direction for all of us.

Your Friendly Neighborhood PORNOGRAPHER Every comic-book superhero has what fans call a “genesis story”. This is the part of the superhero's history that explains where their super-powers came from and how their lives were derailed from the path of Normal. Usually, an accident is involved, as with the Hulk or Spiderman. But sometimes, the “accident” is an Accident of Birth. The one who is fated to become a superhero may come into the world with a difference already inside him, and this difference will remain dormant, even for decades, until awakened by an urgent necessity.

Superheros are always aware of their difference before they are aware of their Powers.

Every superhero dreads the day when his or her difference will be discovered by others. Whether that difference was acquired through accident or at birth, it is a source of constant shame and grief. Those feelings are sometimes so intense, that the Superhero becomes twisted by them. In such cases when a superhero has gone over "to the Dark Side", as it were, they become something else.

The flip-side of the superhero is the super-villain. They are exactly the same, except that one has turned left, the other right.

@--------------------@

I imagine that many, if not most, in our business suffer bouts of moral crisis from time to time. We must wonder at the difference in ourselves. Unless you’re lucky enough to live in a castle far away, with only other XMen for companionship, you’re going to sense they don’t much like us in the “world” these days.

2257, .XXX, etc. etc. – you might not see the moral condemnation they contain, of YOU. But inescapably, any rule that applies only to some (even when the consequences of a violation don’t include imprisonment) distinguishes that group from all the rest. And what is there to do when you find yourself on the “outside” but ask yourself -- “Did I do something wrong?”

I was asking myself that very question back in June. I thought a lot about our situation. I read a lot. I wrote a lot down. I talked to other folks in porn. But that was difficult. Emotions tended to run high. It became clear that most of my colleagues were feeling the attacks on porn as if they were attacks on them. I felt the same way

At Cybernext in San Diego, after sitting in the back of the room for the Pornographer’s Group Therapy Session, I got really depressed. Coming in to it, my head was already filled with questions like: “Why do people fall so easily into silence and self-suppression when it comes to their personal sexuality? Why does the Correctness of this cause not resonate with everyone? What is so appealing about shame?

During Group Therapy, I listened intently as my colleagues shared stories from their personal lives. Some were funny, some not. Mostly they boiled down to the importance of caution and discretion. The parents among the panelists spoke of “balance points’ that they have found and “lines” they’ve drawn. And, though I can’t find any fault in what they are teaching their kids, nor could I recommend they do anything differently, it still broke my heart to hear it. I realized then that we, American Pornographers, are teaching our kids Identity Concealment & Camouflage 101, as part of the basic survival toolset for the culture – same as most other kids are taught. Ironic, that we are no exception. I guess it’s expected that everybody’s got something they will feel they have to hide, when they grow up.

During post-therapy Q&A, Halcyon stood up and shared an experience he’d just had with a mainstream newspaper reporter. The gist is Hal’s dad is a judge, and when said reporter found this out (while interviewing Hal) he liked the headline “Local Judge’s son is a Porn Star!” better than “Pro-Sex San Diegans have a Picnic in the Park”. No doubt.

The way human beings react to discomfort and pain is pretty consistent. We shrink away from what seems to be the source. We assess how we got hurt. And, if it seems the same action will bring more pain, we don’t do that again. Fire is easy to avoid. But what are you supposed to do when what hurts you is being who you are? Sadly, most people give in and cut-away the individuating part.

It seems that moral crisis is a universal theme. All of us, not just pornographers, will find ourselves from time to time at odds with “right”, if not the law.

What separates the superhero from the super-villain is empathy, and the capacity to recognize himself in other people – especially in their pain. Whenever pornographers lay claim to First Amendment’s sacred right, we are defending and standing up for everyone who’s ever felt the presence of a “censor” in their life. When we stand up to champion porn, many eyes are following us. They are curious and interested to see how we’ll fare, “naked” -- as we are out here. Our survival, our success, our refusal to shut-up, convey a hopeful message to the millions who every day consider the many lines, distinctions, and boxes in their own lives, and wonder what to do.

It’s possible, suddenly, for pornographers to see their difference in a new light. Perhaps it is not a moral taint, after all, but a gift – a superpower, if you will.

There’s another story element you’ll find in every superhero’s tale. There comes a common point of crisis when the alienation, the pain of unrequited love, has brought them to a line they should not cross. On the nearer side of the line, one remains a human being, one finds the way to situate oneself within the permitted diversity of the Human Family. Beyond the line, one is a monster – the very thing we always feared we were.

Those who come back from the line discover a difference in their difference. It’s still there, but now it seems a part of something. The superhero, once tested, will feel a connection he didn’t ever feel before, a sense of responsibility, a calling to service.

It must be difficult to imagine the gulf that now exists between our way of thinking and the opposing side will ever be bridged. I certainly can’t offer any assurances. But I can tell you I feel optimistic today, and for the last several days. It has to do with, corny as it will sound, doing good deeds -– and doing them in Porn’s name.

Here’s a thought: If we as pornographers seek out as many morally unimpeachable “good deeds” as we can, and each time we do a good deed we say “Porn did this!”, before very long we’ll have made pornography synonymous with these things, and perhaps, perhaps, perhaps… less assailable. I think I’m going to give it a go.

"Yo, Hal, tASSy, wait up..."

2houseplague